Have you ever fallen in love with someone who seems to be perfect (the ideal guy or girl you have been looking for) and yet he or she does not reciprocate your feeling? It is an unfortunate and an unpleasant situation for any of us to experience. No one wants to hear, “I do not feel the same way or I do not love you.” because it is painful. However this could happen to anyone, so you should not feel alone if this happens to you. It does hurt a lot, especially if you are the type who does not fall in love easily and when you actually fall hard for someone, but then that person does not feel the same way as you do. As much as painful as it may be, being rejected is a common occurrence and at some point in life, we all have experienced it. Rejection could be painful but being rejected is definitely not the end of the world; there are ways for you to overcome the pain.
How do I get over him or her?
1. Maybe, just maybe, he or she is not the “one”
The worst possibility that you may need to face is that the person you want to be with the most is actually not the person you should be with. I am just saying that this is a possibility because I could never know if the person you are in love with is the one you are supposed to be with or not. What I am trying to convey is that, if we are meant to be with the person, then we will end up with him or her in the end. If not, then it is not meant to be.
This does not mean that you should be discouraged to know the person more. You can always try to be his or her friend (with no romantic intention). If you still have any romantic intention, I suggest you steer clear away from that person instead of getting your hopes up just to get it brought down again. Real love should not be forced, it should happen naturally. If we force our relationship with that person, we will end up losing the chance of meeting and to end up being with someone that is actually meant for us.
2. Love? Nope, you are just infatuated
Yes, most of the time, the term “falling in love” that we hear or experience at first is actually known as infatuation. Infatuation is an intense short-lived passion that consists of unrealistic expectations that we have of the person. Do you ever had a crush on a teacher where you imagine that you will end up getting married? Yes, that is an example of infatuation. Infatuation makes you project all your desires towards someone in hope that he or she fits that profile when it turns out that the person that we “love” is not even the person that we hope he or she to be.
However, when you are in love with someone, you would know him or her inside out and the other person does too, and they do too. In short, being in love with someone means that you are willing to change for the person, to accept both his strengths and weaknesses, and the relationship should make you a better person. If it is not, then you are probably only infatuated with the person, especially after you find out about his /person’s “bad side”, you immediately fall out of “love” with him or her. If your feeling matches with the description of being infatuated above then you have the opportunity to “leave” the girl or the guy be and move on with your life instead of wasting your time romanticizing over a person who does not really exist in reality.
3. Rejection could actually be a redirection
Rejection may make you feel unlovable. As much as painful as it seems, you do not need to feel that way. In fact, it is actually a good thing that the person rejects us. Why? When you are in a relationship that is not right for you, you will feel constrained. You will feel as if the relationship holds you back from being the best person that you can be. If he or she is really meant for you, you will be comfortable to be yourself and your partner will gladly accept you as whom you are. I am pretty sure that being loved is an amazing feeling, but you would only feel it when you give and when you received it from the right person. So, instead of wasting your time chasing the wrong kind of love, invest the love on yourself and the people around you. Focus your energy to do what you have always want to do, try a new hobby, join a new club/community, travel, write, and increase your circle by meeting new people. Who knows, you might meet someone better that you would never meet if you were stuck on a certain someone.
4. Someone better is coming along the way
This seems to be like a cliché that been said too many times for the sake of making us feel better when we got rejected. However, this saying actually speaks the truth. We need to believe that this is not the end (as much as it seems now because of the pain that we feel). You may feel now that there will be no other person who you will love or no one else would love you but it is not the truth. How do I know this? Well, the more time you spend on making yourself a better person instead of crying over that guy or girl the more likely it is to find the right person. Why? Because you have become the “right person” that is incredibly attractive and people actually want to be close to a person like that. Everybody wants to date and eventually marry a guy or a girl who is confident, humble, mature, smart, authentic, and kind. You may not be this “right” person if you continue to dwell in the past and if you do not use your time to be a better person.
All in all, you should never need to feel that you have to chase a certain someone to be or to feel loved. The right person will always love you without you having to fight for his or her love. You are worthy, you are good enough, and yes you are lovable. Please believe that you are going to find real love one day and in the meantime, love yourself first.
What would you do or what do you do when someone rejects you? What are your ways to cope with it? Definitely let us know in the comments below! J
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